Coffee shop chatter relaxes my mind as I reflect on the change of seasons and what it brings. How the colder weather makes me pull my winter coat around me tighter and chase the sun when it appears again.
I long for dried lawns and crunchy leaves. I long for God.
As I watch the wind carry the leaves, I let go of painful memories from the hospital by giving them to Jesus.
Jesus was nudging my heart to visit him in the chapel and attend daily Mass. I like going, but somehow I resisted spending quiet time alone with him.
Temptations to walk by the chapel and listen to music were more attractive in the moment.
I was avoiding him, and I noticed my stubborn heart became cold like late October. I cried at night for Jesus to hold me and warm me up. I want to love like Jesus’ pierced heart loves – abundantly.
Hold me closer, Jesus. I’m yours, and you know what I need.
I need a Saviour to save me from pride and fear. I hope Jesus keeps calling my number. I want to answer yes. I am ready to follow him along the path he has set out for me. To live like him, I need to be docile and allow him to fill my head and heart. I can do nothing on my own strength.
When I experience anxiety and a bout of the blues, nothing seems to help pick my mood up. My mind blanks at what I like. For times like these, I keep a list of the things I enjoy doing. What might banish the despairing thoughts this time? I go for a walk, I read a book, I exercise, I eat well, I sleep.
Slowly moving my body helps reinvigorate my mind. I put one activity at a time to work. And it helps to change my sad and gloomy days to contented ones. Looking for the beauty in the unexpected moments of the day. Walking through the tropical plants at the conservatory at Queen Elizabeth Park on a lunch hour. Spotting red dahlias at a florist shop on a street corner. Reading a book as I curl up in a chair with a hot cup of tea.
Making time to pray the Rosary helps me with my day. It honestly makes for smoother routines and interactions.
My dear mama Mary is someone I can ask for help to love like her son. My favourite prayer, “Sweet mama Mary, prepare a safe way for us,” is one I pray often.
I remember that healing can be fast, or it can take a lifetime. Mental health affects everything in my life. It’s something to be aware of daily.
Have I got enough sleep? Am I eating good food to sustain my energy? How well am I focusing at work? Am I maintaining my relationships?
I don’t want to give up when the week feels tiring. I want to keep going. Sometimes that means going out less often in the evenings and instead resting at home.
This change of season is a time for me to slow down and focus on what’s important. The summer felt fast and full of activity. Now I am wanting to be closer to Jesus and less distracted. It’s a new chance to grow and let go, warmed by his love and comforted by his mercy.
Hold me closer, Jesus. I’m yours, and you know what I need.
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