*Predictions are real, article is a parody, bad jokes are free*
The time has come for Yours Famously (George G. Grid reference) to grace the pages of this rag called Cascadia Preps.
I’ve been off since the end of 2019 doing my best to keep a Corona down (IPA Guy, beer snob, pandemic joke), but its time to get back to work.
The young buck (Chenster, defending champ) has been strutting around the Cascadia Preps double-wide (Yelm prediction later) like he’s some national champ.
Eklund (basement dweller) on the other hand has been telling us he’s got top level bettors looking for his picks, but I’d say he’s got about as much of a shot as Jarred Kelenic (.153) hitting an 0-2 changeup in the dirt (.000). Always next year, Scotty.
My father (tall) used to tell me you can’t win or lose a season in week one. I always thought that was true until I saw Catholic Powerhouse Bishop Sycamore (Online Harvard) lose twice over the weekend, while ESPN (MTV of Sports) went all Homer Simpson and stepped back into the bushes.
Let’s get down to business. Here are this week’s predict-shuns.
Emerald Ridge Jaguars at Sumner Spartans
Ryland Spencer: “While I like the direction Emerald Ridge is headed as a program, I really do not like this matchup for the Jaguars. These two teams met in the spring season and everything went Sumner’s way (46-0). Sumner likes to hit first and ask questions later on defense. Spartans storm Sunset and take down the Jags.”
Lincoln Abes at Yelm Tornados
Ryland Spencer: “This is about as big of a matchup as you will see in week one. Two programs in the top ten of the 3A classification. Two programs with high powered offenses. Two programs with top level coaching. That being said, Yelm can play fast, they can play physical and they love playing in front of their home crowd. Tornados spin the Abes right ’round.”
Kennedy Catholic Lancers at Eastside Catholic Crusaders
Ryland Spencer: “This game reminds me of Skyline vs Bellevue in 2013, it’s a year late. Both teams have lost plenty of firepower over the last two graduating classes, but this still has the makings of a big time game. Air Lancer Nation will be in the building, but it’s the Lancers’ defense that wins this one. Late game stand wins one for the Boys from Burien.”
O’Dea Fighting Irish at Union Titans
Scott Eklund: “It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do these. It was nice not losing to Ryland and Micah last year, since we didn’t make predictions, but here I am, back on the horse and ready to get my butt kicked yet again. Anyway, onto this intriguing tilt between O’Dea and Union down in West Camas. I love both of these programs. They are led by great coaches, their fanbases are pretty rabid and they produce a ton of talent that eventually makes its way onto college rosters. O’Dea’s line is massive. Led by the likes of Mark Nabou and Isendre Ahfua up front, they can mash almost any opponent into submission and that’s exactly what I expect Monte Kohler and his staff to do. Jason Brown is one of the top tailbacks in the country for the 2024 recruiting class and some think he might be better than Irish and Washington Husky legend Myles Gaskin. That’s lofty praise. Make no mistake, Union has some really good players and one that O’Dea will need to watch out for is Tobias Merriweather. The Notre Dame commit has outstanding size and speed and he can run by you if you aren’t careful. This one could wind up being a shoot-out as Union head coach Rory Rosenbach is one of the best offensive coaches in the region as well. I will go with O’Dea in a squeaker.”
Kentwood Conquerors at Eastlake Wolves
Ryland Spencer: “Kentwood is a team that really intrigues me. They have young talent and some really nice upperclassmen. If they get good QB play, the Conks could be dangerous. Eastlake is my pick to win the Kingco Crest as I think they have more skill than other teams in that division. This game came together late after Lake Stevens dropped its first two games to Covid. This might be the game I am most excited to attend this weekend. Picking the Wolves, but I think it will be a beauty!”
Credit: Source link