On that day, 2,752 people were killed in New York City. Another 184 were killed in the attack at the Pentagon, outside Washington, D.C., and 40 died outside Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
‘Life-changing’ event
Following the Sept. 11 attacks, Carris began experiencing issues of anger and rage, the brunt of which was taken out on his family.
Some of that rage was triggered by Toppin’s article in which she called Carris an “angel” sent from God.
“She was describing me as a perfect human being who did all the right things, and it made me reflect on my own life, thinking, well, I haven’t been the perfect human being doing all the right things in my life,” he said.
But the real root of his anger was still unknown to him.
He went to his parish priest, who recommended he see another priest, Father Jim Kelly, OFM, who runs a psychology practice.
Carris’ sessions with Kelly, which went on for nine months, pushed him out of his comfort zone.
He describes it as a “battle.”
Then in the fall of 2002, his parish priest suggested Carris attend a Cursillo weekend, offered by a lay-led movement that offers retreats for a deeper encounter with Christ.
The weekend was filled with silence, a series of talks, the sacraments, and deep prayer. It was on the retreat that the root of Carris’ problems came to a head.
He realized he had been Catholic his whole life but could not remember ever experiencing a relationship with God.
Carris called it a “life-changing” event. It was so effective that Father Kelly told Carris that he no longer needed to see him for therapy anymore.
“It just opened up a thirst for me to want to learn more about my faith. I had never really read religious books or spiritual books,” he said.
He soon found himself stopping in at Catholic bookstores in the city and feeling drawn to certain titles.
One of his first books was the autobiography of St. Teresa of Ávila. Carris then began praying more and took a class run by the archdiocese on Christian ministry run by a religious sister.
“Something in my chest was like, ‘What’s going on?’ She just said things that lit me up inside and wanted me to learn more,” he said.
He began diving deeper into reflecting on the Mass and volunteering with different ministries.
Eventually, Carris said, the diaconate “was almost a natural progression.”
His wife, Carroll, to whom he has now been married for over 40 years, was very supportive of his pursuit of the diaconate. He was ordained in May 2011 for the Archdiocese of Newark, New Jersey.
His favorite part of serving as a deacon is counseling couples engaged to be married.
Carris and Toppin (who died in 2021 at age 72) remained good friends following the events of 9/11.
She even attended his ordination day. When she died, he assisted with a memorial service for her.
Carris said he has already “processed” the events of that day and can now talk about them but still needs to take some silent time after offering interviews.
His heart breaks for those who died that day.
“It was a blessing what happened to me. And that is so difficult to say in an environment where people suffered such tragedy,” he said.
Looking back, he knows that “God was with us on that stairwell that day.”
Joseph Bukuras is a journalist at the Catholic News Agency. Joe has prior experience working in state and federal government, in non-profits, and Catholic education. He has contributed to an array of publications and his reporting has been cited by leading news sources, including the New York Times and the Washington Post. He holds a bachelor’s degree in political science from the Catholic University of America. He is based out of the Boston area.
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